Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
