I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
