why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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