these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
