Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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