just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize