At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
