WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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