my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
