Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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