paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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