dude i'm inner monologue high
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
