i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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