The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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