he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
