just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
