Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
