SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
