guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
