I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
