he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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