White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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