Will you blow on my dice?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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