She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My vagina just recognized that song.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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