maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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