We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
