Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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