It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
