got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
