Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A+ Viking dick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
