CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
