do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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