also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
