girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
