i already hear my dad disowning me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
