Midget sex pt 2 tonight
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
