I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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