Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
