I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
