The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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