legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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