too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
