okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
