yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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