For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
