i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
