so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
