Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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