Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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