hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
