remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
