Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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