she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
