i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
