He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
