Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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