ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
