My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
