Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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