Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
