dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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